Eliminates Quitters
We're not entirely sure what that means. We are completely sure it belongs on the can.
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THE FRESHNESS EVENT OF THE YEAR*
Be clean.
Be confident.
Be fond.
For when you're really, really fond of men.
*Year not independently verified. Neither is anything else here.
CRISPBOLDFOND
MAXIMUM FRESHNESS✦MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE✦MAXIMUM MEN✦MAXIMUM FRESHNESS✦MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE✦MAXIMUM MEN✦
THE SCIENCE OF FONDNESS
One spray.
Infinite possibilities.
Fondofmen takes the familiar language of household freshness and gives it the dramatic, unnecessary, deeply committed product launch it never asked for.
Crisp Linen Scent
Clean sheets. Open windows. Suspiciously good lighting. The complete fantasy.
Maximum Men
For rooms, vibes, and people who have decided subtlety is no longer serving them.
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F
FONDOFMEN
For when you're really,
really fond of men.
NOT JUST A PRODUCT
It's a whole
atmosphere.
Fresh linen. Dramatic mist. Entirely too many sparkles. Fondofmen is less interested in quietly freshening a room and more interested in making an entrance.
“A fragrance that enters the room before you do.”
100%committed to the bit
0%peer-reviewed science
∞potential fondness
THE OFFICIAL LAUNCH FILM
Unnecessary
cinema.
A zero-budget brand film built with maximum commitment. Hit play and allow the atmosphere to change.
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FONDOFMEN
THE BRAND FILM
YES, IT'S REAL
The joke escaped
the computer.
There is an actual can. Someone actually printed the label. Someone actually wrapped it. And then someone bought the domain. At that point there was no turning back.
PHYSICAL PROP
FondofmenCrisp Linen scent
Questionable decisions.
Tangible results.
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
We anticipated concerns.
Can I buy Fondofmen?
Not right now. This began as a one-off parody product and somehow acquired a website before it acquired a supply chain.
Does it really kill 99.9% of viruses and bacteria?
No claim is being made by this website. The label and advertising are part of the parody.
Is this a real brand?
Emotionally? Absolutely. Commercially? We're still processing what happened.
Why is it so dramatic?
Because making it tasteful would have been a betrayal of the concept.